I love golf.
It’s probably the most frustrating thing I’ve ever done. It’s like self torture a lot of times.
I think one reason for that is golf is a game of misses. You rarely hit a perfect shot. There are just too many variables. So the best days are the days when you miss by the least.
Even the greatest golfer of all time, Jack Nicklaus believed golf to be 50% mental, 40% setup and 10% swing.
Think about that… An athletic activity is mostly mental.
I also watch this series with former Green Bay Packer, Leroy Butler, and he often discusses Alignment, Assignment & Execution. He often says the two most important are Alignment and Assignment, which are basically like the Setup and Mental areas of golf.
Mental Ability & Confidence
In sports, confidence is incredibly important. When the mental aspect of something is so important you need to have confidence that you’re setting yourself up for success.
Once you have the mental aspect down the physical aspect becomes more of a reaction. You’re often not even thinking about the physical action. You let your body react as normal.
The tricky thing is building confidence. Not just in sports and physical activity, but in work and in our personal lives as well.
It might be performing a task at work. A presentation. A sales call.
It might be making new friends. Expressing a feeling toward a loved one.
How do you build your confidence so that you improve your “mental game” in life?
Here are a few tips.
Tip #1. Little Wins
This is a big one. We often focus on big wins and little losses.
That’s a difficult way to go through life.
If you know someone that is negative this is probably the way they think. They brush off the good things and exaggerate the negative things.
They had a good day at work? Psh. It’s just temporary. No reason to be happy about it.
Someone cut them off on the way to work? That’ll gnaw at them all day and into the evening at the family dinner.
We’re all guilty of this to some degree. And it can really hold back our confidence.
It happens to me in golf all the time. I could hit a pretty good approach shot that just misses the green and brush it off. No big deal. Then I’ll miss a shot on the next one and let it get to me to the point where my round pretty much has no chance.
In life, appreciate the little wins. They matter the most. Don’t wait for the big good things to happen. Over time, the little wins add up and build your confidence.
Tip #2. Forget Failures
In the NFL there is a saying for the players that play in the secondary. It’s their job to cover receivers.
Even the best of the best give up touchdowns from time to time. It’s the NFL and those receivers get paid too. They’re going to get a few touchdowns.
The best players forget those failures. Some act like they never happened at all.
Jack Nicklaus also talked about playing mind games with himself. He’d hit a bad shot and in his mind he wouldn’t blame himself. Had to be something else that caused it. The club. The grass. The wind. Anything except himself.
He obviously knew that he probably made a bad decision, didn’t setup correctly or had a bad swing. But he flipped normal thinking on its head.
He appreciated the good and forgot about the bad.
There are no rules that say we have to focus on the negative all the time or even at all.
Tip #3. Forget Other People’s Opinions
We’re often difficult on ourselves. Our own worst critics.
But I think this can be a result of people bringing us down. Wanting us to join them in their sorrow and self pity. They’re negativity.
It’s really a cruel thing for someone to do. To make themselves feel good by trying to bring others down. To make themselves feel important by wanting company in their misery.
Here’s the thing with confidence and success in life…those people don’t matter. The only one that matters is yourself. If you can build your own confidence and be happy in what you’re doing then you win.
You can’t control what others think of you.
Do you think Jack Nicklaus cared what other golfers or fans or writers thought of his game? I’m sure he gave it hardly any thought at all. He knew what it took to win better than anyone. He was in complete control of his mind and focus.
Tip #4. Physical Repetition
When it comes to any activity there really is no substitute for repetition. If you want to get good at golf you have to hit golf balls. Every kind of shot.
The same is true for work. If you’re in sales there is no substitute for making calls and going through the sales pitch.
You might want to make plans and things like that aiming for quality instead of quantity.
That’s a huge trap and a huge myth.
Quality comes from quantity.
I just listened to an interview with Dolly Parton. She said she’d written about 5,000 songs in her life and maybe had 5 good ones.
I think she’s had a few more good ones, but her point was that she didn’t sit down to write only 5 great songs. She wrote tons of songs in order to get 5 great ones.
Tip #5. Mental Repetition
Finally, don’t overlook the importance of mental repetition.
Drew Brees has been a great NFL quarterback for years. I believe I just heard somewhere that he will play the entire upcoming game in his head before actually playing the game.
He’ll sit there for three hours going through the huddle, the play and getting ready for the next play. He’ll even go through his time on the sidelines when the defense is on the field. And even halftime.
Some golfers will do the same. They’ll play every shot in their head.
Got a presentation tomorrow? Take the time to prepare physically. Going through it in front of your spouse.
But also take time to close your eyes and go through mentally.
Conclusion
Confidence is a fickle thing. It often starts by your mental toughness. It’s a skill you can build. The tips above will help you build your confidence in different areas of life. It takes effort, but once you follow the process it can lead to great things.
