Are you an outgoing person?
Doesn’t it seem like the world is a little slanted to those that are outgoing and gregarious?
If you’re a social butterfly it just seems like you have more fun with everything. Those people seem to get energized being around people.
I’m not that way.
I’m an introvert.
Many people are introverts like me. It’s not a black and white thing either. I think it’s a curve and somewhere on that curve is where we all fall.
How do you know if you’re an extrovert or an introvert?
You probably have a good idea of what you are, but the real trick to figuring it out is where you get your energy and where you lose your energy.
Here’s the situation: you decide to meet a few friends out for drinks. You go and do that and have a good time. It’s casual and easy going. But when you get home you feel like you need extra sleep because you’re out of energy.
The next day is Saturday and you take time to be alone. You read. You do some work around home. You wake up the next day feeling relaxed and ready to take on the world.
If that sounds like you then you’re probably on the introvert side of life.
Introverts get their energy from being alone. And being with people can take energy away.
The Benefits Of Networking
I went to an alumni event at the university where I went. At the event, many of the alumni spoke to current students and a common theme was networking.
The basic idea is that networking leads to relationships and relationships lead to opportunity.
It’s pretty basic, but it makes sense. And it does really work. I think about the relationships I’ve had in the business world and most of them have been beneficial and worthwhile. I guess relationships are really how the world works because it’s how we all work with each other.
Here is one stat: 70% of all jobs are found through networking. That comes from US Bureau of Labor via this page on Yale’s website.
That’s pretty crazy. The same could probably be said in some form for many business deals and other important transactions in the professional world.
So if you’re looking to get a new job, a better job or if you’re looking to build your business, networking likely needs to be a part of your efforts.
The problem is that for introverts, networking is not easy. But you can do it. Here are some steps.
Step 1. Find Opportunities And Put Them On Your Calendar
Sounds simple, right?
It is, but it’s a challenge for us introverts.
We subconsciously avoid networking events. There is always some kind of excuse. In fact, I guess maybe we actually avoid them very much consciously. We brush them off easily for any reason.
That’s the first step. When you see an opportunity, don’t discount it. Add it to your schedule. Sure, it might not lead to a big new client, but you never know. Maybe the 10th event this year will lead to a big client. That could change your business.
And even if you don’t get a new client it can lead to relationships that can lead to all kinds of great things – friendships, partners, and referrals – right away or well down the road.
Step 2. Prepare For Events
I can’t remember who said it or maybe it was even multiple people. I think I saw it somewhere in the sports world. The person talked about how they get a little nervous before big events, but not too much because they feel prepared.
When you’re prepared, you’re less nervous. You might not lose all your nerves, but you’d be surprised. I’ve been bad at this over my lifetime, but I’m trying to get better.
I prepare myself for networking events, but reading through the entire outline and agenda ahead of time. I read though it multiple times. I imagine myself in situations and think about what I might say. I don’t write a script, but the practice allows me to think better on the spot, which is a good networking skill.
Also look at a list of attendees if possible. You can probably google them and learn about who they are. You don’t want to use that information in a creepy way when you meet people in person, but if you learn about them you’ll feel more comfortable talking to them.
Step 3. Ask People About Themselves
And when you do meet people in person I find that a good way to keep conversation going and interesting is to ask questions. Ask people about their job and maybe a little about their hobbies and personal lives.
You can see their eyes light up on certain subjects. When you see that happen ask follow up questions. People like talking about things they’re passionate about, even introverts, but especially extroverts.
You don’t want to only ask questions, but it can be skewed this way. When you find common passions you can mix in your own stories, but I find that from an introvert’s perspective that conversation works well when the introvert is good at asking questions.
Step 4. Practice Your Story
This is part of the preparation step, but it’s worth its own step here. Your story is what you do, who you are and how you got to where you are today.
This comes up in most conversations with new people. You’ll want a short version and a long version. The short version can work in about 10 to 30 seconds for quickly meeting new people. But if someone asks for more information you can have a version that maybe takes a few minutes.
I’ve struggled with my story in recent years. Not everybody knows what a blogging company does. So I’ve had to learn how to tell that story in a way that people understand. I’m still working on it, but I’m getting better.
The more polished your story is the more comfortable you become telling it and the more engaged people become with you and what you’re saying.
Step 5. Follow Up After Meeting Someone New
This is something that not everybody does. It’s a little extra effort, but can really make you stand out.
People pass around business cards all the time, but they probably just toss them out.
Not you.
Take those cards and take some time to follow up. You can do this alone when you’re re-energizing at the computer the day after the big event.
Connect with the people you met on LinkedIn. Go to their website and look around. Send them an email just saying that you enjoyed meeting them. Mention something specific like how a software tool they mentioned was really neat and that you’re signing up to use it.
This extra effort to connect after the initial meeting can lead to the real relationships.
Conclusion
This will help you with your networking, but it won’t really change who you are. It will to some effect. You’ll be out there networking and lots of good will come from those efforts.
But you’ll still lose energy each time. That’s okay. You can work around this. Simply give yourself some extra time to re-energize after networking events. If you need a day off after a big event that’s okay. It’s worth taking that time off. And maybe you don’t need time off. Maybe you just need time alone.
Don’t schedule calls or meetings the day after a big event. Get away from people and get your energy back. Then you’ll be ready for the next networking event.
It takes more effort to network when you’re an introvert, but I’ve seen the effects and it’s been positive. And you can see from the stats including the one above that networking does work.
And it can work for us introverts too.
